Being a confirmed bachelor, February doesn’t affect me anymore. Gather your friends around you with some mulled wine and forget about cheesy heart-shaped chocolates and romantic dinners! If you are doing the Sober Month challenge, this article is not for you. We are here to talk about a hard and sensitive topic: the most unusual places to breakup with the not-so-beloved-one.
In a library
Whether you’re at the Bibliothèque nationale or at your local library, this is the perfect place to break up with your bookworm (soon to be ex) soulmate. Choose his or her favorite section to soften the blow. Since you are forbidden from talking and shouting in library, it is an ideal space for a drama-free breakup.
At Berri-UQAM station
Berri-UQAM metro station is Montreal’s beating (and stinky) heart, the perfect backdrop to end a toxic and ugly relationship.
‘’I’m afraid this is where we must part ways. You are more of a Monk soul, but my heart lies at Mont-Royal.’’
Be careful not getting lost.
In a labyrinth
Whether it is made of straw, snow or leftover Formula E, a labyrinth is a great place to ditch an unwanted partner from your life. Here are some tips off the top of my head :
1. Plan for a quick espace. If the person you are breaking up with is a Olympic runner, you might want to rethink your strategy.
2. Commit to mapping out the labyrinth. You’ll need to scout the perimeter – I recommend a drone – ahead of time. Whatever you do, no mistakes are allowed if you want to avoid unwanted awkwardness.
On top of a ferris wheel
This option is for the chatty ones. If you tend to lose yourself in Shakespearean monologues, this will be a great challenge for you. The second you feel the wheel begin its descent, lay out your arguments, reassure them and get out of there. Ready, set, go.
If you are the champion of awkward moments, avoid this option at all costs.
In a Harry Potter themed bar
Harry Potter fans, now is the moment to fully emerge yourself in your fantasy. Get your cape, wand and luggage ready, we are heading to the Platform 9 ¾ of celibacy. While drinking your Butterbeer, confess that you are no longer under his or her Imperius spell and that you feel more like you were hit by a Endoloris curse. Explain that you must Accio your freedom and that he or she needs to Evasnesco from your life. At the risk of Stupefying them, you’ll finally see the Lumos at the end of the tunnel. Everything will be alright, that’s my Unbreakable Vow to you.
Dear readers, never forget that there is no perfect way to leave someone. That being said, the best way is, what I like to call, the “Band-Aid method”. You need to rip it off as fast as possible. It might sting every time, but at least it gets the job done.