Non-violent communication | Bota Bota, spa-sur-l'eau

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Psychology

Non-violent communication: well-being and art of living

To begin this article, we invite you to think back to all those times you spoke too fast, got angry for no reason and words went beyond your thoughts. 

The way we communicate makes us unique and defines us, but it sometimes can also be detrimental, limiting or negative… Learn to see communication as an ally. We give you some tips on how to express yourself and listen with authenticity. 

Development through communication

Have you ever heard of non-violent communication? 

Created by Marshall B. Rosenberg, it seeks to create benevolent interactions to meet different needs. The aim is to increase our well-being and that of others, to free ourselves from aggression and negative attitudes. 

Communicating better is also about listening to yourself and others. Give your heart full freedom to express its feelings and needs. Silencing your inner voices will only increase their negativity. Be fully aware of the present moment and your interactions.

Focus on caring, listening, respect and empathy. 

The watchword is “Express yourself”

Observe the world around you, take time to look around you. Are your relationships beneficial? Focus on healthy and caring relationships. 

Being in tune with yourself and knowing how to communicate in a non-violent way strengthens your self-esteem and your relationships with those around you. 

The first order of non-violent communication is observation. Observe the situation without making judgements, remain objective about what surrounds you. Look at things with a fresh and objective point of view. Focus on understanding the attitudes and behaviours of others before interpreting them. 

Then learn to express your feelings about what you see or hear. We are apprehensive about stating our personal feelings and thoughts. It is indeed sometimes complicated to show the world our weaknesses, fears, joys, sorrows and disappointments. This obstacle comes with the fear of being judged. However, to externalise is to share the present moment, to learn to live in symbiosis with your world, with yourself and those around you. 

It is also important to express your needs so that you can satisfy them as well as possible and that you can be understood. It is the same with others, feel their needs in order to understand them better.

Finally, although it is important to be able to express yourself, ask yourself first if your demands are reasonable. Forget about being demanding; your request should not force others to do things they do not want to do. The observation made beforehand will allow you to respect this last phase. 

Ready to try out nonviolent communication? All these little methods will help you  reconnect with yourself. Soothe yourself by listening to your inner voices. Slow down, take time to observe your world and the different senses that arise from it. Touch, listen, contemplate, smell, and grasp everything the world offers you each day.

In this way, gentleness and well-being will come to you. ill you trcy out benevolent communication?

For learn more about self-compassion, watch Maria Engels’s Ted talk here.